Resident Spoots
by Chris Gammon
Summary: While playing outside Daggett finds something mysterious that leads to a whole mess of trouble. CHAP 6 UP!
1. It's All Just A Game

Albert Wesker fired into the horde of villagers swarming towards him. A sound of a revving chainsaw broke the din of Spanish muttering and cursing from the villagers. A man, bigger than the others dropped from seemingly nowhere and was swinging a dual bladed chainsaw wildly. Fire spewing from in between the blades.

Wesker's Killer 7 Magnum ran out of ammo just as the blood soaked maniac approached him in a blistering pace. With a swing of his mighty saw, Wekser's head went rolling and the blood spewing body collapsed to the ground.

The screen turned red and "You Are Dead" appeared in a taunting manner.

"SPOOT!" Daggett yelled as he hurled the Gamecube controller at the television, causing it to bounce off and whack him in the nose instead. He collapsed onto the couch in pain as his brother emerged from the kitchen with a couple of Yahoo Sodas.

"You loose again Dag? Man you really are terr-I-ble!" Norbert taunted playfully.

"I'm not going to quit Norbbie! I'll show you!" Dagget said, selecting Leon Kennedy this time. He chose the first level this time around.

"The first level is always easier!" Daggett said confidently. Norbert just rolled his eyes.

After taking care of the first wave of villagers, two bloody hags with chainsaws came from the sheds and killed Leon.

"SPOOT!" Daggett yelled, tossing the controller to the floor and turning the system off.

"Just like a Kennedy…" Norbert remarked to himself with a smirk. "That's your problem Dag, you have no perseverance. You give up too easily." He explained as he drank his soda.

"No it's not that!" Daggett said holding up his thumbs. "My thumbs are killing me!"

"Uh-huh. Sure. You're blaming your looserlyness on carpel tunnel syn-dromy." Norbert said in his always mispronouncing way.

"I don't even know what that is, but that's not it!" Daggett said, putting the game up.

"Dag, you've been playing this game for four solid hours! GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING!" Norb yelled.

"You sound just like mom." Daggett remarked.

Norbert was about to reply when the doorbell's familiar chime cut him off.

Daggett rushed to the door as if he was expecting something and threw it open. He grabbed the package sitting on the ground and hurried back inside. Norbert followed in curiosity, rolling his eyes as he shut the door that was still standing open.

Norbert walked back into the living room to see Dag hooking up a chainsaw shaped controller to the system.

"This will show those spoot heads who the REAL boss is around here!" Daggett was mumbling to himself.

Norbert walked up behind Daggett and grabbed one of his pointed ears, jerking him around to look him in the eye.

"Daggett, for the last time, go out and do something! PLEASE!" he pleaded.

"Alright, if it means that much to you." Daggett said, heading towards the door.

"It does. I care about you!" Norbert said half-heartedly.

Daggett walked out of the door and shut it behind him.

"Alone-y at last!" Norbert said to himself as he switched on the television to watch his movie. "OH! 'Dawn of the Day of the Night of the Re-Animated Undead Living!' a classic!"


	2. Discovery

"Spooty Norb and his spooty carriness!" Daggett mumbled to himself as he played with his toy construction vehicles. As he messed around in the dirt he stumbled upon a silver canister. Opening it he was greeted with a purple glow of a mysterious liquid inside.

Daggett instantly closed it and began to panic. "NORBIE!" he yelled as he ran back into the house. "NORB I…" Daggett stopped himself when he saw Norbert watching the television.

"You threw me out to watch a movie didn't you!" he asked in an angry tone.

"So what if I did? Now what's the emergency this time?" Norbert asked.

Daggett realized why he was there and began to panic again. "NORB! I FOUND AN ALIEN POD!" he screamed, holding up the sliver canister.

Norbert snatched the canister away from Daggett and looked it over. He shot Daggett a dirty look and tossed it back.

"Dag, it's just a thermos from some guys lunch. It's not an ALIEN POD!" he said in a mocking tone.

Daggett opened the canister and showed the purple glow. This piqued Norbert's interest as he took it back to look it over once again. He took the tube inside all the way out and sat it on the table.

"Clearly, we have some sort of lava lamp." Norbert said with authority.

"IT'S GOING TO HATCH AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE DOOM-ED!" Daggett screamed only to be slapped back to reality by Norbert.

"Calm down Invader Zim. Apparently we have an unidentifiable subs-t-ance that is clearly too dangerous for the likes of YOU!" Norbert said, emphasizing the last word with a poke to Daggett's nose.

"What should we do with it?" Daggett asked, rubbing his nose.

"WE don't do anything with it. I don't want you playing with it. Lord knows what chaos could ensue." Norbert said in a William Shatner type voice, wriggling his fingers in a spooky fashion. "Now let's just go to bed, and we'll figure it out in the morning."

As they turned to go upstairs, Daggett's tail hit the empty silver canister and it hit the floor. Neither of them heard it as they filed upstairs guided by the purple glow.

As the canister hit the floor, the purple glow revealed a red and white logo in the shape of an umbrella.


	3. In Deep Spoot

As night continued its trek across the earth, a lowly mosquito flew into the dam through an open window. As it buzzed around looking for a meal, it was entranced by the glow of the tube sitting on the table, illuminating the otherwise dark room with a pinkish hue. The insect flew to where it was and found an opening in the seal to slip into. After drinking its fill, it slipped out and flew off into the night, unaware that it was now a messenger of evil.

Morning came and the brothers were sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. Daggett was already to the bottom of his bowl of "El Grapendora Marshmallow Flakes" and was watching television in the living room when Norbert finally emerged.

"What's goin' on the old news talk today?" Norbert asked, sitting next to Daggett.

"Something about a spooty company." Daggett said.

The news continued to talk.

"And while it has been confirmed that Umbrella was indeed responsible for the horrible incident in Raccoon City almost seven years ago, there's still remains of the corporation strewn about the United States and possibly the world. Since the corporation had facilities in almost all major continents, one can assume that there are still some dangerous chemicals or viruses that can be discovered at any time. If any of these are found, please call the proper authorities to dispose of the hazardous waste."

Norbert and Daggett only heard a portion of what the reporter said, as they were too busy staring at the purple tube that had been sitting out all night.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Daggett asked, glancing over at Norbert.

"You bet your sweet ever-loving fur covered bippy I am!" Norbert said, fear creeping into his voice.

"So what should we do?" Daggett asked.

Norbert shakily reached over Daggett and grabbed the Mr. Moose phone by the couch.

"We'll call the proper author-I-ties and get rid of this stuff!" Norbert said, as he dialed.

Before Norbert could hang up, a helicopter could be heard flying overhead. The two brothers ran to the door and looked as the chopper landed across from their dam. Emerging from it were two guys in white coats that looked all too familiar.

"We're scientists. See? White coats! Am I to understand that you have a bio-hazardous substance here?" the tall one with glasses asked.

Daggett nodded in awe as Norbert ran to grab the tube and canister. He brought them back and handed them over to the scientist.

"Thank you, pointy weasels! We'll be sure to properly dispose of this!" and with that, the scientists were off.

"Well, that takes care of that mess! No spooty infections for us! Nosiree!" Daggett said, dusting his hands.

Norbert was relieved as well. "This calls for a celibacy!"

"You mean celebration?" Daggett asked confused.

"You know what I mean spoot-wad!" Norbert said, playfully shoving Daggett. The two wandered into the forest to find a decent tree to have a victory meal.


	4. Something Is Wrong Here

The expanse of forest surrounded the beaver brothers as they searched for a nice tree to nosh upon. As they walked along, they saw Barry sitting by the pond, scratching furiously.

"Hey Barry! What's up?" Norbert asked as the two approached.

"Aw baby. A mosquito bit me last night and now I don't feel so good. It's totally ungroovy!" Barry said, as he went back to scratching his arm.

"Ya got fleas or something?" Daggett asked, noticing this.

"Naw baby. I just feel all itchy ya know? And awfully hungry too."

Norbert and Daggett remembered the time they thought Barry was going to eat them only to find it was all a lie by that spoot-wad Bill Licking.

"Well you take care of yourself man! We'll catch you on the flip side!" Norbert said, acting cool.

"Take care my Beaver Brothas!" Barry said, holding up his fist.

"Barry sure was acting weird." Daggett said, worried.

"At least he's not crowing at the sunrise like that other bear." Norbert remarked, eliciting a laugh from both of them.

As the two finally found a nice tree, they noticed something horribly amiss. There was no Bing. Usually when they're in this part of the forest, Bing comes around to annoy them.

"Something's wrong Norbie." Daggett said, looking around.

"What do you mean?" Norbert asked, seemingly unfazed by Dag's emotional state.

"Bing's not around to annoy us. It's creepy!" Daggett said, looking around more furiously.

"I thought you didn't like him." Norbert stated, somewhat annoyed.

"I don't, it's just freaky that he isn't around. I mean, something bad could've happened!" Daggett explained.

"So?" Norbert asked, losing interest.

"SO! WE COULD BE NEXT!" Daggett screamed, grabbing Norbert by his chest fur and shaking him violently.

This got Norbert's attention, and he knew something was wrong now. "Dag?" he asked.

"Yeah, Norbie?" Daggett asked, feeling uncomfortable.

"Time for that old Bea-var instinct!" Norbert proclaimed, and the two took off running for home.

Deep inside, Norbert knew something was wrong, but he didn't admit it. He was supposed to be the cool head in bad situations, and besides, Daggett was panicky enough on his own without help from his brother. There were no birds chirping, no animal sounds, nothing. It was as if the entire forest was…dead…

Daggett already turned on the television, and seemed to have forgotten already what had him so scared. Norbert wished for that ability sometimes, especially now.

He took his seat next to Daggett and watched the Bill Licking show. There wasn't anything else on, or they would've changed the channel.

"Here we see a cute little woodland squirrel!" Bill said, kneeling down next to a ratty looking squirrel. It looked around frantically and was foaming at the mouth. "Notice how he's digging up his food supply for the coming winter!" Bill said, as the camera zoomed in. The squirrel suddenly disappeared, leaping off screen. The next sound was Bill screaming like a little girl then silence.

The two brothers looked at each other, and for the first time, Norbert registered his fear.

"Something IS wrong!" He finally confessed.

"Told ya!" Daggett said, getting a scowl from Norbert.


	5. Officer Treeflower

After the customary ritual of locking the door…several times, and having Trixie activate the security system, Norbert retreated to one of his many secret rooms to prepare. Daggett, already scared out of what wits he had, was even more frightened being left alone.

Maybe a game was in order. It would sooth him a bit anyways, and keep him from going stir crazy.

Firing up the system, he put the game he had been playing earlier back in and loaded it up. Then he figured it was a bad idea to play THAT game given the circumstances, and opted to find something else to do. Didn't want to add to the situation any further.

Meanwhile, Norbert was having Trixie report on anything unusual the night before, and learned of the mosquito that Barry had mentioned earlier. Somehow this insect spread the contents of that mystery tube to Barry and maybe others in the forest. They knew it was left over from Umbrella, but didn't know what it was exactly.

Then realization hit him hard. Soon, everyone they knew would become one of the undead. The forest would transform into an Oxnard Montolvo movie and that would be the end of that. The only option after that doomsday scenario was nuclear destruction of the forest. Just like that city they heard about on the news.

Norbert walked out of his secret room, looking down at the floor in a defeated demeanor as he headed towards the kitchen. When he got there he saw the worlds biggest sandwich sitting on the electric spool they use as a table, nearly hiding it from view.

"Dag! What in the name of the infamous 'Jill Sandwich' are you doing?" Norbert asked, half angry half confused.

"I figure if we're going to die, I might as well try to get into the record books. Don't want to be forgotten, ya know?" Daggett said, placing another layer on top of the already packed concoction. Among the human foods such as meats, cheese, and peppers, were slices of every type of wood they had in storage, almost thin enough to be paper, layered on like meat.

"Dag! We're not going to die. Not if we find the antidote! Surely the people that created this monster would protect their own employees!"

There was an awkward silence, as if that was the dumbest thing he ever said. Daggett had already began shoving his own creation into his mouth, glancing over to see his brothers disdainful look.

"Well, I don't want this to go to waste. But I'm not going to eat it for nothing!" Daggett stood his ground.

Norbert rubbed his temples and sighed.

"Fine, if you want to be in the Record Books so bad, you can stay here and get eaten!" Norbert said, pointing to the floor with both hands for emphasis. "If you want to live, then put that thing away!"

"Well I did spend a long time making it…" Daggett said to himself, scratching his chin. He glanced over again to see Norbert was already gone.

"NORBIEEEEEEE!" Daggett screamed as he ran to catch up, stopping to catch his breath.

"I knew you'd change your mind! Now come on, we got an antidote to find!" Norbert said, going into the closet. He emerged dressed like Indiana Jones and carrying a whip.

Daggett looked puzzled.

"We're going to travel the ends of the earth and find that antidote before it's too late!" Norbert proclaimed, wrapping his arm around Daggett's shoulders.

"Or we could just call those spooty scientists to bring one over…" Daggett said, afraid of retaliation.

Norbert froze and dropped Daggett to the floor painfully. "You just had to ruin the moment didn't ya!" he asked, slightly miffed.

Daggett smiled up at his brother. "Throw me the idol, I'll throw you the whip." he said with a toothy grin.

Norbert got the hint and grumbled, walking on Daggett's face on his way to the phone.

Meanwhile, out in the quiet forest, a moan could be heard carried by the wind. The smell of rot from recently killed animals wafted around the trees, which were the only things living at the moment. Those that weren't lucky enough to be killed would transform into one of those…things.

All that was truly know was Barry found what he was craving earlier…

"No good, the phones are dead…" Norbert said, hanging up the receiver. So's everything else, he thought to himself. He walked back to the couch to find Daggett playing his game after all.

"How can you play something like that when the real thing is slowly happening outside the door!" Norbert asked, actually curious of how his brother could be so absent minded.

Then he got an idea. He remembered all those movies he's seen, and the best way to make a zombie stay down was to shoot it in the head. Of course they didn't want to kill their friends. Daggett wouldn't hesitate killing Truckee, and Stump would be unaffected. But what about Barry, Wolfie, Big Rabbit, TREEFLOWER!

Norbert instantly began to panic even more so than Daggett. Treeflower was alone out there, waiting to become chow!

A knock on the door startled the two, Norbert more than Daggett. Norbert raced to the door and threw it open to see Treeflower standing on the porch, dressed in a police uniform.

"Oh thank God! I was just thinking about you! You okay?" Norbert asked, feeling relief wash over him.

"Yeah, good thing I decided to be a police officer today. Know what's going on out there?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder.

"Why don't you ask Barron Von Spootenheim over there?" Norbert remarked, pointing his thumb over his shoulder.

"HEY! This isn't my fault!" Daggett yelled.

"Yes it is…" Norbert mouthed, eliciting a chuckle from Treefolwer.

"Yes it is, you found that spooty tube full of who knows what!" Norbert yelled back. "Then you left the window open for a mosquito to drink the stuff and infect all our friends!" Norbert began yelling.

"How come we're not sick then?" Daggett asked, catching Norbert off guard with an intelligent question.

"I…don't know." Norbert admitted. Surely the mosquito would've found them closer than anyone else to bite after drinking the stuff. Maybe it just didn't take the time to look around.

Whatever the reason, the three beavers were probably the only ones "alive" in the forest. It was time for evasive action.


	6. Ganado Grapadora

The idea of a horde of undead flesh seekers slamming themselves against the door of the dam in a quest for the last living thing in their general direction wasn't lost on the three beavers. Something had to be done without killing their friends in the process. If an antidote could be found, then all would be well.

Daggett and Treeflower sat on the couch as Norbert paced in uneasy silence. No one said anything, because quite frankly, there wasn't anything positive to say at the moment.

For a brief time, Daggett considered going back to his sandwich he left in the kitchen. But the silence was broken by the sound of something mechanical. A sound of a…

"Chainsaw? Out here?" Norbert perked up when he heard the sound too. No lumberjack, even the ones they encountered before, would be crazy enough to do their job in the conditions now. It was distant, but clearly identifiable.

"That blockade I was told to put up should hold any curious or stupid people at bay until this is sorted out." Treeflower said, glancing at the door with uncertainty.

Norbert could read her expression and felt uncomfortable. He looked over to Daggett who was leaning over the back of the couch, looking towards the kitchen, and the sandwich.

"DAG!" Norbert barked, snapping Daggett to attention, "Stick your head out and see what's going on!"

"NO SPOOTIN WAY! I AIN'T GETTING MY HEAD CUT OFF FOR ANYONE!" Daggett screamed in an unusual show of courage.

"Calm down Dag! I was just funnin' ya!" Norbert said, holding up his hands in defense.

"Well it ain't funny!" Daggett miffed, crossing his arms and pouting in the corner of the sofa.

"Guys! This isn't the time to mess around! We got to do something!" Treeflower exclaimed, looking at the both of them.

Everyone knew there was really nothing they could do. For all they knew, they were infected as well and just didn't know it yet. Before Norbert could break the news, the chainsaw got louder and closer.

Daggett responded by bolting under the couch. Treeflower had her gun at the ready as all cops do, and Norbert was ready to give Trixie the word if need be.

The silence now was so thick you could almost hear it creeping closer and closer. The only identifiable sound was Daggett's whining from his hiding spot.

Without warning, a chainsaw blade slammed through the door, and with one swipe took it off its hinges and across the room. The wielder was none other than…

" EL GRAPADORA!" Daggett yelled from under the couch. Only he didn't seem normal. After yelling something in Spanish, he began swinging wildly destroying anything in his way, causing the three beavers to retreat upstairs and lock the door.

"Norbie?" Daggett asked between gasps.

"Yeah Dag?" Norbert asked, equally tired.

"Why do people always run upstairs when being chased?"

"I have no idea."

A chainsaw blade coming between them cut them off and sent them diving for the canoes they used as bunk beds. They heard the door splintering away and the chainsaw growing ever louder before gunfire filled the room. They peeked up over the bed to see Treeflower firing at the wrestler, trying to lure him away.

"NOOO!" Norbert yelled as she disappeared around the corner with El Grapadora following close behind.

The next two sounds they heard were the click of an empty barrel, and the sickening sound of a chainsaw cutting through matter.

"Well that was a lot of help…" Daggett scoffed, crossing his arms.

Norbert angrily slapped Daggett in the back of the head, tears welling in his eyes. Something HAD to be done now, and it didn't matter how anymore.


End file.
